LIVING IN THE GRAY
I find myself as inconsistent and faithless as anyone in the Bible. Some days I am totally engulfed in the pursuit of God’s presence and love. And other days I don’t seem to pay much attention to God at all. I could try to blame Satan for my lapses but, as we will see, that is not the whole truth. Satan is our tempter. But I am the sinner. I find the world’s ideas and pleasures appealing, and I pursue them even though I know better. I listen to Satan’s lies because they entice me. I pay too much attention to doing what he suggests. I allow him to cause me to doubt God and His Word.
I read how God parted the Red Sea for His people, fed them with manna and quail for decades. Even supplying them with water from a rock. And the Hebrews rejoiced at God’s goodness. But it never failed that eventually, they grumbled about their conditions, made for themselves idols, and broke His commandments.
I think, “I would never do that. I would never be that foolish.” But if I were to read the story of my life, I am as guilty, foolish, and sinful as the Hebrews were.
The fact is that there is a battle raging inside of me.